"It's okay. Wait until [insert time]. Nothing's wrong, even if you're thinking it would or should have happened by now. Do not panic." is a story I have to tell myself too often. lol

Mentally I'm not actively worrying about anything, but just noticed my resting heart rate is like at around 90 bpm rn.


Once again I'm getting @mrjunge vibes :blobcatthinkingeyes:

[Ryoh-zoh] GKGT [English] [Project-H] [Digital]

"..any teacher soapboxing about meritocracy would be met with laughter and be marked down as a sucker."

B A S E D af.

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Either way, it is clear that if we continue to be in denial about the nature of schooling as merely a formalization and intensification of preexisting mechanisms of social selection through which the burdens of social reproduction and "human resource development" are distributed and their resources meted out, and continue to be in denial of schools as institutions within which child labor is redirected from play and into the efficient growth of human capital, the more this dilemma between aggression and stifled resentment + social detachment in attempting to reform the education system will re-entrench. The real solution is for this aggression to be constructively social, but competition that is focused on "human resource development" with the implicit threat of disposability doesn't have time or money for sociality, and certainly anybody who has their material comfort provided in this state of affairs has no interest in any kind of aggression, even the most tempered, as long as it threatens precisely that. The worst part is it's difficult to be your own advocate, the younger, and it'd take time to have that capacity for articulation. Luckily, the failures of this system has already been outputting mini-adults, and that might ironically also be our saving grace.

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I too, used to express aggression as outburst against teachers, but I did have a moment where all of that just kind of dissipated and slowly got replaced with other kinds of neurosis. Had I continued on that previous path, I would not have been surprised if I had gotten diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder once it escalated during high school. Luckily my early school life already involved a school psych, and some of the staff knew how to redirect my energy. But at the same time, this simply turned into neurosis, precisely due to channeling that aggression in a way that was socially disconnected from peers. I was pretty much at the cusp of this transition generationally, which would explain why I am familiar with some of the stuff here, but I likely have it to lesser degrees. The real lifeline for me has been precisely understanding that something was "off" about things and trying to understand why it all seemed off, because it gave me a clearer idea of what was deserving of ire and has made those previous emotions a bit more constructive. That said, I am still addled by those pressures, because they have not completely changed society-wide, and some of the neurosis, because they outlived the moment.

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I actually read a post that was like, "People who pick up a discipline or plan to deal with an underlying anxiety sometimes reach the point when they get frustrated with others for feeling satisfied while not equally trying to improve in the same skills, because they feel like they duped themselves to compete in a race that never existed in order to feel better." And I was like, "oof."


I do hold some respect for Confucianism even though ultimately I strongly dislike it and prefer daoism. The emphasis on ritual and the idea that rituals, while arbitrary, play a role in setting the groundwork for other things that are *not* as arbitrary (such as moral character and social cohesion), is an oft-ignored point, particularly for a society in flux and transition where there is a breakdown in the consensus about certain behavioural norms. I just don't think it was ever the magic potion Confucius thought it was and that, actually, ritual in the context of promoting harmony in hierarchical systems is actually their worst implementation. Emphasis on rituals are for making horizontal networks more efficient and effective. The emphasis on rituals in social hierarchies actually exacerbate coordination problems, slowly erode cohesion in the long-run even if strengthening it in the short-run, and exacerbate loneliness, because they are there to distort cultural signals, slow the speed and impact of messages, and *simulate* connection. But contemporary societies generally have both, if not in equal measure, more of hierarchy than not, so both of these effects hold.

It's funny that citations came into existence for practical reasons in research, but also kind of are themselves a kind of aesthetic, even rhetorical, marker such that they can make your paper look legit even if your sources are unreliable. It takes time to backtrace sources, after all.

I'm not going to stop making dad jokes. Just wanted to make this explicit and clear.

I still get annoyed when PDFs don't have the proper, like, outline structure with like the chapters and stuff and just has an outline that literally just points to each and every page.

Did you hear? The Vatican is creating a new online payment platform, they're calling it Papal.

I'm simultaneously trying to chill today and do some errands. Lets see how I can synthesize the two.

I figured out that I need to set a timer for the end of tasks in order to avoid hyperfocus. I'm doing better, but I still times end up using up most of the day on some tasks, regardless of priority, because I get way fucking absorbed in them. Clearly I still have to master my mind.

felony disenfranchisement is such a terrible thing, it should be unconstitutional.

if there are enough people in prisons to swing an election to a candidate outside of the mainstream with mainly prison-based support... there are too many people in prison

allowing prisoners to vote is an important check on the prison system.
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A cool community, I guess.