@wistahe there are so many layers to this I love it

also I have to shout out absurdism whenever I see it

@syn @wistahe if I had to ascribe to any one philosophy, I'd have to pick absurdism... it to me is the most appealing philosophy that also isn't just filled with holes

I'm making my life meaningful

@pry @wistahe yeah it was most compelling to me until i felt like i'd exhausted possibility-space & was completely bored of materiality
@pry @wistahe well, & normalized culture too, most of its affective content

@syn @wistahe idk. to me ideas are part of the material world. there's nothing special like a soul and so ideas have physical structural encodings in the physical world. to me the spiritual and the conceptual is the material

the material is so grand and I disagree with those who have the audacity to think that somehow it is not as vast as the spiritual

@pry @wistahe yeah of course
i'm not a dualist, i should be more precise. i mean the *explicitly materialist* collective socio-ontological framework, in that it rejects multiplicity of qualitative perspectives on the same first-order perceptual base

@syn @pry To be a person is to be a metafictional being in a world which follows physical laws unrelentingly. I'm a physics student so I know that the universe is expressed in physical terms, and any exception will be considered physical with study, like electromagnetic waves and fields. But we have to live our lives and decide and redecide what type of person we are and what types of lives we will live, and so we follow scripts and narrative suggestions. And we're aware of these stories too. But because the world is physical, narratives can come and go because the laws of the world do not deem any of them as a absolute. So I consider a soul not to be a substance, but that which is deemed "soulful", an authenticity indicative of anything which holds emotional resonance through either an amazing alignment of the script with circumstances in the world, or the bitter and pained sorrow of their incompatibility as one imagines a different world. It's really late here, so I might be rambling a bit too much and losing clarity.

@wistahe @pry no that's quite coherent, more or less the same as my perspective. though i guess i differ a bit on what i personally find impactful, though that's to be expected. but the important point here is that consistent, predictable, mechanistic physicality doesn't preclude finding personally-inexpressible, foundational affective meaning in things. shouldn't have to be stated, honestly

@pry @syn I like absurdism a lot, but sometimes I feel life is already meaningful. How can it not be when you enjoy spending time with others or go hiking through trails in the country on a cool winter evening before seeing the air filled with seed pods floating on the wind? Or get lost in resolving a weird paradox? Even though these joys aren't universal, somehow it's impossible to find ourselves without meaning and I want to know why that is.

@wistahe @pry i lost something that made those things rewarding
the things i still find solace in feel like distractions or reminders of my smallness/ephemerality, in that my experience & frustration with the collective self will ultimately pass and i will be free, even if i am too weak to make that choice now when i am otherwise gripped w/ purpose

@wistahe @syn perhaps I'm closer in belief to an existentialist but idk...

I find that there are a few things that to me feel inherently meaningful: relationships with others and building things. both of these feel so human to me and there may even be some sort of evolutionary reason or smthing but that doesn't change the fact that I deeply care about these acts

I do think life is inherently meaningless tho... or at least the universe is

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